I am sure you have heard many definitions about forgiveness. I like this one:
Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Another definition states: to pardon the offence of another.
These definitions sound short and simple. However, the very act of forgiving, releasing someone from an offence they have done against you intentionally or unintentionally is never easy. I encourage people to forgive and the words come out of my mouth like running water however, I know that this is not an easy thing to do.
When you have been hurt by someone, deeply hurt, a bundle of emotions and thoughts pass through your mind and heart. When you hear their name, see their face or the action comes back to your mind. There was no forecast warning that you were going to be hurt by this person. You weren’t peering around the corner expecting this to happen and yet it did.
Followers of Jesus find it easy to quote the Lord’s prayer “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” in faith praying and hoping we don’t have to actually experience anything, but we have to actually obey this. If this were to be true, Jesus would not have included forgiveness when teaching the disciples how to pray.
Reading this you may be saying, “Lady, you don’t know how they hurt me!” Any form of this statement that “you don’t understand…..” is very true. I don’t know the exact situation, I don’t know the circumstance.
One thing I do understand is the feeling of pain. Pain is real and pain is unique to the person who is feeling it. Our situations may have played out differently but our feelings are generally the same. However, I know one thing, and that is we are commanded to forgive and for good reason.
While going through my health issues forgiveness was one of the actions I learned more intensely about and found out how important it was to keep short accounts and forgive. Science has caught up to what scripture has documented of the positive outcomes of healing ones body, soul and spirit.
The Mayo Clinic suggests the following improvements with forgiveness:
- Healthier relationships.
- Improved mental
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
- Lower blood pressure.
- Fewer symptoms of depression.
- A stronger immune system.
- Improved heart health.
- Improved self-esteem
Read them again. Say them out loud! These are benefits my friend. You have a huge part to play in your health and wellbeing and in many aspects are based on decisions that YOU can make IF you choose. I talk a lot about choice because it is a gift that God has given to us to be part of the process of changing our lives. We can control the outcomes of many challenges if we choose to do our part.
So what’s the situation? Who is it who has hurt you? Have you spoken to the person? Have they reached out to you and you have not responded? What is within your power to change what this situation looks like? You’ve got the power. God is just a prayer away. He is more than happy to walk alongside you and give you the grace to forgive. You don’t have to go it alone. You do have to try though. Love is a decision we make everyday. Love goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Both require you making a choice. So again:
- Identify the situation?
- Who is it who has hurt you?
- Has the person(s) reached out to you?
- Is there anyone you need forgiveness from?
- How would you want them to handle the situation if you were the offender?
I would love to hear what you decide. Let me know by emailing me at patrussellsings@gmail.com. Please contact me if you want to take the conversation further with a 15 minute contact appointment.
Once again, If you drink the “poison of unforgiveness remember the outcome is never positive.”
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